Did you know that women almost always make more noise than men during sex? Doesn’t that sound like a crazy sort of assumption that some stupid guy would make based on one or two experiences with vociferous women? Well, as it turns out, this is totally true and it’s true across all cultures and among some primates in the animal kingdom. Now you know that when you hook up with a girl and she’s making all sorts of noises during sex that she is just like every other woman on the planet. You have to wonder why that happens though. Hopefully I can explain it.
The answer isn’t readily available, as it turns out. Research has been conducted on the subject, but not nearly enough to come up with a solid answer where human females are concerned. If you look at primates, the closest animal relatives to human beings, you can find answers that might give a clue to what’s going on with human females. As it turns out, it’s a form of communication, not surprisingly.
One of the most basic drives in any animal (humans included) is to reproduce. Propagating the species is the reason we’re all here on the planet. Loud noises by females during sex are thought to be part of that, although it makes more sense in the animal world. Essentially, if the female makes more noise she will attract more sexual partners to deposit more semen in here, thereby increasing her chances of getting pregnant, which would fulfill her purpose in the world. If you apply that to human females it doesn’t really make sense, even if you were to go way back in time. However, it could be one of those traits that’s left over from long ago and has yet to be washed away by evolution.
There is some evidence to suggest that the noise a female makes is related to the status of the man she’s having sex with. If he’s of higher status (measured in a variety of ways in different cultures) her noises are likely to be louder. In the world of primates that makes sense as a way to establish hierarchy in the pack/tribe/group. In certain groups of humans that same reason makes sense (think of a tribe in the Amazon where they live in close quarters with little privacy so everyone knows what everyone else is doing).
In more advanced countries it makes sense that a woman would make more noise when having sex with a man of higher status (again, as determined by a variety of cultural factors) to encourage him to want to have sex with her again. Much of this operates on a subconscious level that we don’t really have control of, but in some ways it’s nice to know and as sex advice it can be interesting to have in your head as you’re having sex. For instance, if a woman seems louder than moral when you hook up perhaps it’s because she thinks of you as a high status male. Wouldn’t that feel good?
Ultimately it won’t make much difference in your quest to find sex, although if you’re using the internet to find strictly casual sex you could infer from this information that women want to be with men of high status and you can mess with your profile a little to make it seem like you’re higher status than you might actually be. If it’s just a hook up she doesn’t have to find out that you like a little to make yourself more attractive and make it easier to find sex. Go ahead and give it a try and see how it works out.
If you’ve been in a relationship for any extended period of time you know that the sex tends to slow down. It’s a product of familiarity that makes the early lust and boundless desire fade into comfort. Comfort is good in a lot of ways, particularly if you’re building a life together that you value and are perhaps going to start a family. However, if you neglect your sex life you’ll soon find that everything else begins to suffer. Sex is a biological imperative in human beings and if you ignore it you might see your relationship/marriage fall apart or fall victim to cheating. Thankfully there’s sex advice that can help you spice things up.
The overall theme of this sex advice piece will be variety. You’ll find that almost every specific scenario can be traced back to providing variety. If you give the brain something different it will be more engaged. If you schedule a weekly sex session on Saturday nights the brain will get bored and even though the sex will feel good, you’ll both feel unsatisfied. That’s why you need to mix it up.
Changing locations is a simple yet effective way to have better sex. If you’ve settled into a routine of having sex in the bedroom you need to pull it out of there. Join her in the shower one morning and try to have sex there. Make out with her on the couch during a movie and don’t run to the bedroom when it comes time to have sex. Try seducing her as she prepares dinner and get to her before she’s put anything on the stove. If you’re successful, don’t bother going to the bedroom but instead have sex right there on the floor or kitchen counter. With a location change you’ll find sex becomes more interesting. If you’re feeling particularly bold you can take it outside the house. Public places are dangerous but can be thrilling and if you’re careful they can be safe. Making love on the beach is nice if it’s not windy and you have towels to cover up just in case there are visitors. If you have extra money you could spring for a hotel every once in a while.
The urge to get into your comfy clothes when you get home from work (this applies to both men and women, though moreso to women) is powerful and it’s always nice to be in sweatpants and a loose top. However, that’s anathema to sex. First, seeing the same thing or the same style of outfit every single day is mind numbing and it’s pretty hard to make comfort clothes sexy. Either keep the work clothes on (some work clothes can be super sexy) or change into something that turns him on. It doesn’t have to be lingerie and it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable. If you insist on your comfort clothes at least have enough of them that you can work a different look every day.
The ladies can mix things up and impress their man by taking charge. Go ahead and initiate sex with your man if you want it and feel free to demand whatever position you want. He won’t be turned off by it because it will be a different delight to him.
If you want better sex then the best sex advice I can give is to mix it up. Almost anything that breaks you out of your routine will spice things up. If you never get into a routine in the first place that would be great, but it’s pretty hard to avoid.
There’s nothing wrong with spicing things up in the bedroom to have better sex. The key is to feel and act free of any sense of judgment and remember that you want to have fun and there is nothing in the world more fun than good sex. With that, here are ten tips to improve your sex life.
1 Try a blindfold
Take away sight and you automatically enhance the sexual experience. Whoever wears it is in a constant state of anticipation and each new move is a delightful surprise. Will you play with her breasts, kiss her stomach, lick her vagina, kiss her lips, or something else entirely? What she will do with you? The anticipation will add an element to the sex that spices it up beyond belief and makes it more energetic and passionate.
2 Massage her
A sensual massage for your woman will have her dripping with desire, without question. When done in a sexy, sensual manner the massage turns her entire body into an erogenous zone, although areas such as her breasts and butt are bound to provide extra arousal. If her sex drive seems to be down and she’s having a bit of trouble getting all the way there the erotic massage is a perfect way to go.
3 Feel free to give instruction
It doesn’t have to be kinky or dominant to give your partner instructions on how to please you. In fact, it can be hugely arousing and erotic, particularly if you’re doing it in the throes of pleasure as you moan lustily. Give it a shot and see how it takes things to the next level. This will lead to better sex!
4 Dirty talking is amazing
Dirty talk will engage your brain and hers in amazing ways. It will make any stress or distracting thoughts melt away and focus you fully on the sex. Even better, if you try it only every once in a while it will be a truly arousing experience.
5 Lingerie and role playing
If you have a role playing fantasy then share it with her. If you want to see her in lingerie then buy it for her. Guys respond to variety more than women and if she wants to spice it up for you then she’ll happily play a part. Plus, there’s great fun in playing a role for her too.
6 Don’t be afraid to share your fantasies
Just because you’re sharing your fantasies doesn’t mean they need to be acted out, in case you’re worrying she’s going to be freaked out. The point is to share your sexual desires with her to open the lines of communication and to let her know what drives you wild sexually. Best case scenario is she makes the fantasy come true. Worst case is she works some element of it into future sexual play.
7 Try a game
Sexual card games aren’t just for college kids. Try a game of strip poker or war. Whoever wins gets to pick the sexual act they want performed on them. Try it all night long for a truly transcendent experience.
8 Cock rings can be fun
A cock ring serves the function of keeping your penis harder by restricting the flow of blood out of the shaft. It makes it look a little bigger and it feels better for both of you. Plus, you’ll feel oddly confident with that super hard shaft.
9 Have thrilling sex in a new place
Sex in public, sex in the woods, or sex anywhere else new is a thrill that will kick start your sex drive like you’ve only imagined. You can judge your willingness to take a risk but the further you push it the more likely it is to be thrilling and energizing.
10 Try new positions
Variety is the spice of life and there are dozens of easy sexual positions you can try. From the Kama Sutra to an endless stream of websites you’ll find recommendations for new positions. Try them all for a truly good time.
For some guys, getting her to have anal sex is the Holy Grail of relationships. If you’re a man then there’s nearly 100% chance you’ve thought about anal sex with your girlfriend and you’ve probably brought it up. If you’re like most guys then she shot you down without considering it. Those girls that were willing to try probably hated it and have sworn off ever trying it again. This happens because it’s generally painful since that area is not nature made for sex. It needs to be carefully prepared, as does the rest of her body. That’s why you need to work at getting her to have anal. The good thing is it tends to be worth it for both of you.
If you want to find sex through the back door you’ll have to be exceptionally patient. Girls in porn make it look easy and painless but they are definitely not an accurate representation of how most girls experience anal sex (they thoroughly clean the area, they’ve been stretched, and they often use a numbing cream to dull the pain). Getting her to have anal starts with asking and you need to do it right if you want to get her to try anal sex for the first time.
When you bring up the subject you need to be sensitive about it, as strange as that might sound. Anal sex is still relatively taboo and if it seems like you want to have it because you’re a dirty guy that just wants to check another sexual experience off your list she’s likely going to be turned off before she even considers it. The truth is that if anal sex is done right it will be immensely pleasurable for you and her, so that should be a part of your pitch. Don’t go too heavy on that though; if you start off talking about how good it’s going to be for her then she’s going to think laying it on too thick. Tell her that you really want to try it, that you will make it good for her, and that if it’s uncomfortable you’ll stop immediately and forget about it forever.
Once she agrees you need to make sure it’s actually going to be good for her. Relaxation and lubrication are your friends in getting her to have anal. First there’s the relaxation. You’ll need to go heavy on the foreplay, which will get her in the mood and get everything down there to relax, thereby allowing anal passage with greater ease. Focus on her. Kiss her all over, play with her breasts and pussy, and ensure that she’s soaking wet and ready to play. That’s when you bring out the lube. Use lots and lots of it. Squirt some inside the anus and load your shaft with it. Spread it all around the anus too.
Doggy style is probably a bad position to start with since it can feel really impersonal to her. You could try her on top so she can control the penetration or you can go missionary. If she’s willing to do it from behind then go for that. It’s wise to use a condom, both for safety and to keep your shaft clean (it’s also wise to have her clean out or to have anal sex after she’s had a bowel movement). Take your time as you insert your penis into her, going nice and slow so she can stay relaxed. A little pain is normal but if you rub her, soothe her verbally, and tell her how good it feels and how it’s going to feel good for her chances are good she’ll eventually get into it.
Isn’t sex dating the same thing as regular dating? While dating hopefully includes sexual intercourse, sex dating is a whole different thing that’s focused around the pursuit or pleasure above all else and in doing so without the emotional attachments that lead to long term relationships. You’re doing it only for the sex and one of the key components of this type of relationship is that both parties go into it well aware of that fact. That simple twist on the typical formula means that problems are far less likely to crop up (nothing is perfect though and you may find that a fuck buddies relationship becomes something else or that one party wants it to become something else).
Before you try and enter into the world of sex dating you need to decide if you can handle a casual sex relationship. For some people it’s simply not possible, and that includes guys. Certainly the appeal of the relationship makes sense and they want to be able to have casual sex and orgasm and then move on, but sometimes it just doesn’t work because the emotional commitment can’t be avoided. If you’re that guy then don’t bother with a fuck buddy relationship because it will be nothing but pain when it doesn’t work out in the end.
Once you know you’re in the mood to become fuck buddies with a girl you can pursue with vigor the relationship you want. Your sex dating experience can begin in a bar, club, or other night spot but that has always been and continues to be difficult. If you get lucky it will most likely be a one night stand and she won’t want to be fuck buddies. You’re also likely to find a girl interested in a relationship. What you’re not likely to find is a girl interested in sex dating. That’s where the internet comes in.
Sex dating didn’t really gain steam as a popular means of sexual interaction until the internet came along. Before that you were stuck going to clubs and trying your best to find a fuck buddy but it was a difficult task that few men had the dedication to pull off. Now all you need is a profile on one of the many sex dating sites (you can find reviews here on It’s Just Sex) available and you’re well on your way to success.
One of the incorrect assumptions of those sites and sex dating in general is that it’s really easy. It’s not terribly difficult, of course, but you can’t be a fat slug of a man that never showers and hasn’t combed his hair in years and expect to have a steady stream of women ready to pleasure you. You need to be at least a little fuckable if you hope to have a successful sex dating experience, so get your shit together if you’re going to take the plunge.
Even women that want to be sex buddies want to be swept off their feet. They’re not whores, in other words. They’re not going to show up, rip their clothes off, and get naughty with you (unless you look like an Adonis, in which case that will actually happen all the time). Sex dating is similar to real dating in that way. You need to make an effort to charm her and convince her that you’re the right man to sleep with and more importantly, to begin a relationship as fuck buddies with. If you put in a little effort it all comes pretty easily though, so don’t worry too much about it. Have fun out there!
There’s a wide world of different sex positions out there (books have even been written about them) but the truth of the matter is that going too far into position experimentation can detract from your sexual experience and in particular your orgasm. If you’ve dedicated half your brain power to figuring out the position, keeping your balance, and trying to manage your thrusts as you do all of that, you’re probably not going to concentrate on the intimate pleasure of being naked and inside another person and the orgasm that will bring you. Hopefully the following sex advice will educate you as to interesting positions that aren’t too complicated.
You’ve probably done the doggy style position before but the truth is that for most women it doesn’t provide enough stimulation to produce an orgasm. That’s because female orgasms almost always come from clitoral stimulation and in doggy style she’s not getting any of that. Instead, try a modified doggy style where she lies on her stomach with her butt lifted just a little as you enter her from behind. The area feels tighter to you, thereby increasing pleasure, and she gets to grind her clitoris into the bed, thereby increasing her stimulation so everyone goes home happy.
For those that take a little longer to orgasm, you might want to try something called the criss cross with your sex buddy. The guy lies on his side and his lady lies on her back. The lady then lifts both her legs over his upper thighs and the man can thrust into her gently and slowly. The benefit is that it doesn’t take a great deal of effort to make this sex position a successful effort, which means you can thrust all night long without tiring out. If your lady takes a great deal of time to orgasm you should give it a try. If you want a more relaxing sexual experience you should also consider it.
If a girl can combine clitoral and g-spot stimulation she’s almost guaranteed a thunderous orgasm. That’s easiest to accomplish if she’s using a specialized toy or you’re using your fingers, but it’s more fun for everyone if you can reach that magical place via sex. A modified reverse cowgirl is the best choice. You lie on your back, she sits on top of you and leans back so your erect penis is liable to stimulate her g-spot. If you support her she can use a free hand to rub her clitoris, bringing about an incredible orgasm.
If you happen to have a table that’s about waist high you should give your lady a good table banging. Have her lie on her back on the table so you can slip into her with ease and get the thrusting going. You can stimulate her clit or she can. Whatever you do, make sure your hands are active caressing her body in some way. Play with her breasts, rub her legs, and if she likes foot play then suck her toes as you continue to penetrate her.
For the final entry in the sex advice column we have the lap straddle. You should sit face to face and she should climb aboard and gently guide your member into her vagina. You’ll be pressed against each other as you fill her and when she bottoms out she can have fun. She’ll be able to grind against your pelvic area to generate clitoral stimulation or she can ride you for deep penetration. If she leans back there will be greater g-spot stimulation and you can go wild and suck on her breasts, making it feel so much better.
There are many routes to finding a sexy buddy for those times when you want to have a no strings attached romp in the bedroom without the complications that so often come with having sex. It typically requires a certain level of confidence to achieve sex buddy status with a woman. If you project weakness or desperation a girl that might be considering you as a sex buddy will write you off because she doesn’t want a guy that’s going to try and date her or spend the whole night cuddling and talking about his feelings. Not everyone is cut out to be in this kind of relationship and you need to decide if you’re that type of guy before you take the plunge.
There are rare occasions when this type of relationship happens as a result of real life flirtations. Imagine you’re hanging out with friends and you’ve had a few drinks so your normal inhibitions have disappeared and been replaced by the unfiltered version of you. You feel attracted to one of the ladies in the group and when you get her alone you flirt, heavily. You make it clear you’re thinking about sex with her and she responds. In your semi-drunken haze you go home with each other, hook up, and have the time of your lives. Next time you do it sober. You’re not really into each other in a relationship way but you sure had fun having sex. Now you’re sex buddies and as long as neither of you gets emotionally involved you’ll be fine.
That sounds wonderful, of course, but it almost never happens in real life. Instead, what typically unfolds is that you flirt in that way and put your interest out there and you get a drink thrown in your face, the girl tells the rest of your friends what a pervert you are, and you find yourself on the outs in your circle because you were such a pig. That’s why the ideal place to find sex and form a casual, mutually beneficial relationship is online.
When you turn to sex dating and use the internet as your means of finding partners you’re among like-minded people, which is the single best reason to go this route. When you log on to a sex dating site and browse the listings you know the ladies are there for the same thing you are (there are always outliers but if a woman goes on a sex dating website and talks about wanting a real relationship you can count on her being a little weird).
Casting your line amongst people that want the same thing as you is the smartest way to get it, which is why you need to push your efforts online to find sex. The bliss you’ll experience is potent! What’s incredible is that these sites are littered with beautiful women that want to have casual sex and then do it again the next week or the next night. If you want to form a sex buddy relationship with one particular woman you can do so or you can spread your wings and see just how many ladies you can charm into the bedroom with you. The choices are limitless and the pleasure you’ll feel is incredible. Sex dating is the wave of the future and it’s time you got on board and experienced why tens of millions of members belong to these sites. There are good things happening online. Do your research to find the best site, join up, and begin searching for the sex buddy of your dreams and it will all come to pass.
Never assume you’ve sealed the deal on a one-night stand until you’re actually having sex. Until you’ve crossed the threshold, so to speak, there are no guarantees, which is why you need to plan for success. The vast majority of 1 night stands occur when you’ve set out with the intention of getting laid. You shower, you dress your best, and you head out to your favorite bar, club, or lounge and work your magic on the lucky ladies. That means there’s no excuse for slip ups when you actually land a lovely woman that’s eager to hop into bed with you for a night of fun.
Before you leave the house in search of casual sex you need to ensure that you’re putting forth the best version of yourself. Take the most thorough shower ever and give special attention to the naughty parts. With any luck they’ll make an appearance and you don’t want any funky smells emerging if she comes face to face with your junk. If you anticipate sweating perhaps you should take precautions to limit the smells generated but such activity. Once you’re clean as a whistle it’s time to tend to your grooming needs. Is your pubic hair trimmed (ladies don’t like a crazy bush and it carries more smell)? Is your facial hair the way you like it or gone completely? You have manscaped? Choose your outfit carefully to present the best version of yourself and then head out and make your way to your chosen hunting ground.
Let’s skip ahead to the point where you’ve met a girl, charmed her, and convinced her that you’re the guy for a one-night stand. If you have a roommate(s) you should go to her place if at all possible. Some girls are skittish about taking a guy to their place but chances are good your roommate will be the ultimate buzz kill, even if it just means you need to keep the noise down so you don’t disturb his sleep. Ensure that your place is clean. It doesn’t have to sparkle, but empty food containers, dirty clothes, papers, and more strewn about are a major turn off. It’s simple, really. If you keep a sloppy home she’s going to assume you’ll be a sloppy lover.
It’s smart to suggest a nightcap when you get home. A drink is a great way to loosen up and get you on the road to casual sex. However, if you’ve been fooling around in the cab/subway or taken breaks on the walk back to kiss and grope you can skip the booze and go right for the foreplay. Yeah, I said foreplay. Of course you’re going to be all kinds of hot for her but it pays dividends to invest in foreplay. Plus, it’s fun to kiss and suck her all over, finger her, play with her clit, and extend the make out session. You want her to be desperate for penetration just like you will be.
Under no circumstances should you forgo a condom during a 1 night stand. It doesn’t matter what she says and it doesn’t matter what you want. A one-night stand is great but it’s never worth an STD or a pregnancy, both of which are very real possibilities even if she seems like a nice girl and promises she’s on the pill and STD free. Make sure you’re stocked with condoms before you leave and keep them close to the bed (though out of the way; it’s super crass to have them sitting on the nightstand). Now get out there and have some fun with the one night stand babe of your choice.
At one point or another we’ve all pined after a girl with a boyfriend. Sometimes it’s because the forbidden fruit seems that much sweeter and sometimes it’s because the girl is genuinely perfect and we want her more than anything. Most of the time we give up on the idea of being with her or just hooking up with her and move on but you don’t have to do that. With persistence and skill you can break up that relationship and have the girl for yourself.
However, before you take that step you need to do a little thinking. First, you need to make sure the boyfriend isn’t a maniac that will put a hurt on you for stealing his girlfriend away (which is what you’re doing). If there’s a chance you’ll catch a major beating it’s probably not worth it. After all, there are literally millions of single women in the world and there’s no chance this girl you’re pining after is so special that she’s worth getting beaten for. It’s also worth considering for one last time whether she’s actually worth it. You’re going to be hurting her boyfriend if you steal her away and any relationship that starts in cheating is likely to end that way too.
If after considering all of that you’ve decided she’s the one for you then it’s time to get started on hooking up with the hottie of your dreams. Your first step is to find a way to be around her or in contact with her as often as possible. That could mean working at her place of employment, being in her group of friends, etc. Physical contact is a must. Messages on social networks are nice but it won’t be nearly enough to convince her that cheating on her man is a wise move. You need to be around her to plant seeds of doubt and to help your own case. Its not easy buy very much possible to hook up with girls who have boy friends.
You should also find a way to contact her via email or text and keep it friendly. You want to build your relationship without ever hinting that you’d like to be more than friends. You’re just the good guy that wants to make her laugh, etc. If you can get to a point where she confides in you emotionally you’re guaranteed a hook up. She needs to feel close to you in a way that she is with few people in the world.
When you reach that point of emotional closeness you need to begin the campaign of doubt. Her boyfriend will make mistakes and if you hear about any of them you need to subtly suggest that he’s not the guy for her. If you’re over the top about it your intentions will be far too obvious, so avoid that. Your best bet is to try and fuel the embers of her discontent. If she feels like her boyfriend doesn’t understand her then you can be the guy that does understand her while suggesting that her current man is never going to understand her. Try your best to subtly plant negatives thoughts in her head about her current boyfriend and make yourself look great in comparison.
At some point you’ll need to make your move. It’s best to do so when she’s emotionally vulnerable and looking for the closeness that a true physical connection provides. You’ll need to time this perfectly and it could very well blow up in your face but that’s the sort of risk you take when working an operation of this nature. Once you’ve made your move you need to pull back. Don’t outwardly be the guy that wants to break up her relationship. Just be the guy that gave in to your intense feelings and doesn’t want to destroy anything. At some point she’ll tell her boyfriend, he’ll break up with her, and you can swoop in and have a new girlfriend.
Millions of words have been written over the years on the art of picking up women, seducing women, running game, etc. Every book purports to have a magical system that helps you nab the girl of your dreams or just the girl of your fantasies for that night. All those books and blogposts are helpful and might actually get you what you want but what they teach all comes down to one thing: confidence. It sounds so simple but if you really look at what you’re being taught it’s all about the confidence. Some guys need a system so they will appear confident. Some guys need a pep talk so they can feel confident. Some guys need specific lines to run so they don’t have to think and thus lose their confidence. That’s what it all comes down to though.
The art of picking up women is all about utilizing your confidence. When a guy uses the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard and the girl actually responds it means that he delivered it with confidence (sometimes it means that he’s incredibly good looking and he could have spilled gibberish from his mouth and picked her up but those guys are confident too so the lesson holds). Pickup lines are incredibly stupid but they serve a purpose: to break the ice. All you’re doing is finding a good way to introduce yourself to a girl. That’s why you can usually just introduce yourself and offer to buy her a drink. A simple compliment is a good way to follow that up and segueing into conversation of almost any kind is recommended thereafter. Follow that formula for picking up women and you’ll be amazed at how often it works and at the very least gets you a nice talk with a lovely girl. If you don’t have much experience at this sort of thing you’ll need to practice but you’ll get where you need to be eventually so have faith.
Let’s get a little more specific now. It’s always been a good idea to make the first move but that’s true now more than ever. If you’re interested in a girl then go ahead and talk to her. Introduce yourself, buy her a drink, and start a conversation that gets you on the road to knowing her. If you want her number than ask for it. Don’t be afraid that you’re going to be rejected or that she’s going to feel like you’re somehow being sexist. You’re not; you’re being a man interested in a woman and that’s all there is to it.
You need to avoid being immature at all costs. There is truly no bigger turn off than an immature man. Some guys have an immature sense of humor; if you’re one of those guys you’ll need to table that. Making a girl laugh is great but if your only material is dick and fart jokes you need to put them away and come up with something else. I’m telling you, immaturity is like female repellent and will get you walked away from faster than you can believe. This is #1 to remember when picking up on girls.
Before you introduce yourself to a girl and try to start a conversation you’d be wise to know something about her. Watching her for a few minutes (not in a weird and leering way, of course) would be smart so you can pick up on her behavior and have something to mention when you approach would be smart. Picking up girls is an art take your time and do not rush. This sort of thing will take a little practice but it’s well worth it. Breaking the ice is the hardest part of this whole thing, along with getting comfortable with rejection, which will happen plenty when you put yourself out there.
