Not surprisingly, drinking and alcohol can have wildly divergent effects on sex, just as it can a night at the club or adventuring through the city. It’s all about how much alcohol you consume. Chances are good if you drink then you’ve seen both sides of the spectrum and know how a bit of booze can make it much easier to get laid or can send you into a spiral of shame since you drank too much and can’t get it up or end up puking in the middle of thrusting.
The Bad About Drunk Sex
Too much alcohol can inhibit a man’s ability to get an erection, a truly unfortunate occurrence if you’re making out with a gorgeous girl you met through a sex dating site or at the bar. Drunk Sex even worse if you’re both naked and she wants nothing more than to feel you inside her and you can’t even get hard enough to get the condom on. At that point the only thing you can do is go down on her and hope that enough of the booze will wear off that your willy will work again. Otherwise it’s a night of bad sleep for you without the satisfaction of orgasm and a good chance she tells her friends that you couldn’t get it up, which means humiliation for you.
If you drink way past your limit all sorts of bad stuff can happen, which is why it’s impossibly stupid to do so. A minor blunder would be vomiting during sex, either on her or all over your bed, making a big mess. You might also black out and forget the evening entirely. You might forget to put on a condom or decide that you can’t hear that she’s telling you no and get into real trouble. Plus, if she’s drinking too much and you’re sober or much closer to sober you can get into murky legal waters if she’s not so happy with the sex the next morning. Limit yourself to a few drinks.
The Good About Having Sex Drunk
Alcohol is widely accepted and used as a social lubricant because a drink or two successfully lowers inhibitions in everyone. If you’re terribly afraid of rejection or a little bit shy normally, a few drinks might make all of that fade away and leave you in the mood to hit on a girl you’d typically never dream of approaching. That sort of confidence can only lead to good things. They call it liquid courage for a reason, and that reason is that the part of your brain that tells you to be scared of approaching a pretty girl, flirting, or even asking her to go back to your place is quiet since it too has had a few drinks.
The same is true for the members of the opposite sex. The lowering of inhibitions can have an entirely different effect. Men are horny and think about sex all the time. Women are often taught by society at large that having sexual thoughts and wanting to be a bit wanton is a dirty, terrible thing (this is particularly true in much of America). A haze of alcohol over their minds means those thoughts drift away and are replaced by the lust that all humans have inside them. This is a very good thing and it means that if you play your cards right you get to have amazing sex with a girl that would normally be a little scared of the repercussions of a night of unbridled passion with a man she’s just met. The more you practice the better you’ll get at spotting the girls that quickly throw back a drink or two because they want great casual sex and know they need a bit of alcohol to make it happen. Those are definitely the girls you want to go home with.
Never assume you’ve sealed the deal on a one-night stand until you’re actually having sex. Until you’ve crossed the threshold, so to speak, there are no guarantees, which is why you need to plan for success. The vast majority of 1 night stands occur when you’ve set out with the intention of getting laid. You shower, you dress your best, and you head out to your favorite bar, club, or lounge and work your magic on the lucky ladies. That means there’s no excuse for slip ups when you actually land a lovely woman that’s eager to hop into bed with you for a night of fun.
Before you leave the house in search of casual sex you need to ensure that you’re putting forth the best version of yourself. Take the most thorough shower ever and give special attention to the naughty parts. With any luck they’ll make an appearance and you don’t want any funky smells emerging if she comes face to face with your junk. If you anticipate sweating perhaps you should take precautions to limit the smells generated but such activity. Once you’re clean as a whistle it’s time to tend to your grooming needs. Is your pubic hair trimmed (ladies don’t like a crazy bush and it carries more smell)? Is your facial hair the way you like it or gone completely? You have manscaped? Choose your outfit carefully to present the best version of yourself and then head out and make your way to your chosen hunting ground.
Let’s skip ahead to the point where you’ve met a girl, charmed her, and convinced her that you’re the guy for a one-night stand. If you have a roommate(s) you should go to her place if at all possible. Some girls are skittish about taking a guy to their place but chances are good your roommate will be the ultimate buzz kill, even if it just means you need to keep the noise down so you don’t disturb his sleep. Ensure that your place is clean. It doesn’t have to sparkle, but empty food containers, dirty clothes, papers, and more strewn about are a major turn off. It’s simple, really. If you keep a sloppy home she’s going to assume you’ll be a sloppy lover.
It’s smart to suggest a nightcap when you get home. A drink is a great way to loosen up and get you on the road to casual sex. However, if you’ve been fooling around in the cab/subway or taken breaks on the walk back to kiss and grope you can skip the booze and go right for the foreplay. Yeah, I said foreplay. Of course you’re going to be all kinds of hot for her but it pays dividends to invest in foreplay. Plus, it’s fun to kiss and suck her all over, finger her, play with her clit, and extend the make out session. You want her to be desperate for penetration just like you will be.
Under no circumstances should you forgo a condom during a 1 night stand. It doesn’t matter what she says and it doesn’t matter what you want. A one-night stand is great but it’s never worth an STD or a pregnancy, both of which are very real possibilities even if she seems like a nice girl and promises she’s on the pill and STD free. Make sure you’re stocked with condoms before you leave and keep them close to the bed (though out of the way; it’s super crass to have them sitting on the nightstand). Now get out there and have some fun with the one night stand babe of your choice.
Millions of words have been written over the years on the art of picking up women, seducing women, running game, etc. Every book purports to have a magical system that helps you nab the girl of your dreams or just the girl of your fantasies for that night. All those books and blogposts are helpful and might actually get you what you want but what they teach all comes down to one thing: confidence. It sounds so simple but if you really look at what you’re being taught it’s all about the confidence. Some guys need a system so they will appear confident. Some guys need a pep talk so they can feel confident. Some guys need specific lines to run so they don’t have to think and thus lose their confidence. That’s what it all comes down to though.
The art of picking up women is all about utilizing your confidence. When a guy uses the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard and the girl actually responds it means that he delivered it with confidence (sometimes it means that he’s incredibly good looking and he could have spilled gibberish from his mouth and picked her up but those guys are confident too so the lesson holds). Pickup lines are incredibly stupid but they serve a purpose: to break the ice. All you’re doing is finding a good way to introduce yourself to a girl. That’s why you can usually just introduce yourself and offer to buy her a drink. A simple compliment is a good way to follow that up and segueing into conversation of almost any kind is recommended thereafter. Follow that formula for picking up women and you’ll be amazed at how often it works and at the very least gets you a nice talk with a lovely girl. If you don’t have much experience at this sort of thing you’ll need to practice but you’ll get where you need to be eventually so have faith.
Let’s get a little more specific now. It’s always been a good idea to make the first move but that’s true now more than ever. If you’re interested in a girl then go ahead and talk to her. Introduce yourself, buy her a drink, and start a conversation that gets you on the road to knowing her. If you want her number than ask for it. Don’t be afraid that you’re going to be rejected or that she’s going to feel like you’re somehow being sexist. You’re not; you’re being a man interested in a woman and that’s all there is to it.
You need to avoid being immature at all costs. There is truly no bigger turn off than an immature man. Some guys have an immature sense of humor; if you’re one of those guys you’ll need to table that. Making a girl laugh is great but if your only material is dick and fart jokes you need to put them away and come up with something else. I’m telling you, immaturity is like female repellent and will get you walked away from faster than you can believe. This is #1 to remember when picking up on girls.
Before you introduce yourself to a girl and try to start a conversation you’d be wise to know something about her. Watching her for a few minutes (not in a weird and leering way, of course) would be smart so you can pick up on her behavior and have something to mention when you approach would be smart. Picking up girls is an art take your time and do not rush. This sort of thing will take a little practice but it’s well worth it. Breaking the ice is the hardest part of this whole thing, along with getting comfortable with rejection, which will happen plenty when you put yourself out there.
Whether your goal on a date is to sleep with the girl that night (1 night stand) or start a long term relationship there are conversation topics you should always make an effort to steer clear of. If you make a mistake and get into a conversation about anything listed below you might be able to recover but more likely than not you’ll have created a speed bump that might derail your budding relationship. The list is in no particular order so stay clear of all of them whether you are on a date or sex date.
Politics – I said these topics were in no particular order but if you happen to disagree on politics you can put it at the top of the list of things not to talk about. In fact, even if you have the same political philosophies you should probably avoid it since almost everyone has a seriously hot button issue that can send them into a rage if they meet someone in opposition. Politics are irrational and in most cases people believe that their stance is unequivocally the right one, which means you can’t win.
Religion – Here’s another one to avoid at all costs. If she’s a devoutly religious person she might bring it up because she won’t be able to date a guy that’s not but otherwise you should steer clear of it. Much like politics, most people are completely inflexible when it comes to religion, which means you don’t so much have a conversation about it as you talk at each other about it, agree to disagree, and then stew in your animosity towards each other. That’s an inefficient way to build a long lasting relationship (or lay the groundwork for a sexual encounter).
Complaints – I know it’s a little broad but on a first date no one wants to hear you complain about your life, your job, your family, etc. Even if someone is a pessimist and destined to end up with one they don’t want to think about that on the first date. They want to think they’re optimistic and sunny and it’s pretty hard to think about a good future if you’re sitting across from someone that can do nothing but complain about life. Keep those to yourself, even if you had a bad day.
Past relationships – This one is not as universal as the three listed above but in general it’s a good idea to steer clear of past relationship talk on a first date. That’s particularly true if you’re looking for a long term relationship with your date. She doesn’t want to be thinking about your past girlfriends and how she compares to them, at least not at first. If you’re looking for casual sex then it’s not necessarily a deal breaker, particularly if the girl takes it as a challenge to be better in bed than past girls you’ve been with. That’s a risky tactic but can pay big dividends if it works.
Money – This isn’t always a deal breaker but most women don’t want to hear about your financial situation on a first date. It’s disappointing if you don’t have much money and you sound like a braggart if you have plenty of it. If you’re right in the middle then nobody cares. Let her figure out your financial situation from the way you dress, the car you drive, the restaurant you picked, etc.
Sex – If you’re angling for casual sex on this date then you’d think you could bring up the topic but it’s actually not a great idea. In that case you probably both know what you want but if you bring it up then you make it obvious and the girl can end up feeling like a slut, which almost no ladies want. If you’re looking for a long term relationship then you should never bring up sex on the first date, even if it you did meet her on a sex dating site. Let her be the one to bring it up, or simply let your actions speak for themselves.
Fake profiles abound on sex dating sites and they’re almost always of the female variety. Some are profiles used by the site to lure free members into paying and some are escorts looking to lure you into paying cold hard cash to spend some time inside of them. You join an adult dating site because you want free casual sex (outside of the membership fee, of course) so you’ll want to avoid any fake profiles and concentrate only on the real women.
This article will offer helpful tips but the best thing you can do is actually spend a lot of time on a sex dating site looking through profiles. The more you read the easier it will be to pick out the obviously fake ones and weed them out (with any luck the site you joined will offer a way to mark the fakes or ban them from your personal search results). You’ll be reading profiles before you send messages anyway so just be sure to pay attention to what you’re reading and build your experience.
Fake profiles created by the site to convince free members to join are usually of the too good to be true variety. They’re almost always sloppily done and the clues are always in the text. The girl will talk about how much she loves sex, sports, video games, etc. Her picture will generally be hot but not obviously professional. She’ll tell you that she’s a dirty girl willing to do just about anything as long as it feels good, etc. Those profiles are always fun to read and they’re always bullshit. A woman that loves sex and a whole bunch of guy stuff would not have to go on a sex dating site to get laid and her profile is a guaranteed fake.
Escorts make up a significant portion of the annoying fake profiles on casual sex dating sites. All the girls on there should be looking for sex without money but these babes know a captive audience when they see one so they pay for memberships and put up profiles. There are ways to weed them out though.
Always start with the pictures. The general rule of thumb is that if the picture looks professionally done then she’s probably a professional. Even if a regular girl has professional photos (maybe she’s an actress or a model of some sort) she’s almost certainly not going to post them on a sex dating site where anyone can see. If the girl is an escort that wants to look her best then she might post the photos on the dating site and she would use them to arouse you into messaging her despite your gut telling you that she’s full of it. On the opposite end of the spectrum you should generally skip over any profiles that offer no pictures at all. Every girl that leaves her pictures off has a reason but it’s not worth the messaging game. Just skip her and move on to someone willing to show her picture, even if it’s not a face picture.
Check the text of any profile on an adult dating site and you can find clues to possible fakeness. If there is any mention of a donation (sometimes called roses), if she uses dollar signs ($) anywhere in the profile, and if she mentions cab fare you should move on. These suggestions are meant to be subtle so the girl doesn’t get busted for coming right out and offering sex for money. They’re also reasons for you to skip that escort and find a girl that wants to have wonderful casual sex without charging you.
Sometimes a woman wants a one night stand, believe or not. It’s true and if you play your cards right you can be the guy that hooks up with the hottie looking to have a great roll in the hay. Wouldn’t you like to be the guy that goes home with her? First and foremost you’ll need to be at least a little easy on the eyes. You don’t have to be a total hunk but you need to have something going for you physically so the fat guys with greasy hair and glasses should probably move to the next article. The rest of you should be good to go and the exceptionally handsome among you will have little trouble finding one night stands.
You need to be in the right place to find a one night stand with a hottie but thankfully there are lots of these. They include weddings, vacation destinations, night clubs with dancing, great parties, and random locations where you happen to be in the right place at the right time with a lady looking to blow off steam (yeah, women do that with sex too). In general any place where the libido is going to be high and the women feel good is bound to have a number of hotties looking to hook up.
You’ll need to do a little work to have your one night stand so you need to know which ladies to look for. In general this isn’t difficult. She’ll be the girl dancing a little too suggestively, drinking perhaps a little too much, and flirting with just about everyone with her eyes and her moves. The key to a one night stand is that most of the ladies looking to hook up anonymously want to be the pursuers. They want to take control and flip the usual situation, so don’t be afraid to let a girl be the aggressor and pursuer. If she wants you then it’s your duty to let her have you to whatever extent she desires. At some point she’ll make it pretty clear what she’s interested in and at that point you can take the lead and plant a kiss on her lips.
Before you get to that kiss there’s often an important step. At some point you should suggest (or she’ll be the one asking) to go to a second location, although that location should not be your home (that’s your third location). Choose a more intimate bar or club or a good spot you know that’s still public but allows for a bit of sexy making out between the two of you. When you get there be sure to order a couple of drinks and make your move (note that this step might be completely unnecessary depending on how aroused and eager the girl is; she might very well drag you back to her place from your original meeting location).
This seems counter intuitive to what men are taught, but at some point before you get naked together you should make it clear that you’re not interested in a girlfriend and just want to have some fun. That might sound like a crazy move sure to drive her away but if she wants a one night stand it will be exactly what she needs to hear to truly cut loose with you and have a good time. You’re clearing the decks for her to go wild by announcing your intentions without her having to do so. She’ll most likely take you back to her place and it’s the best bet for good sex since she’ll feel more comfortable. Once you’re there be sure to have fun and stay away from anything too dirty or naughty.
If you’ve ever been to a bar in your life then you’ve probably met a woman there you wanted to sleep with that very night. If you’re reading this article then chances are good you didn’t get to sleep with that woman and you want to know how to make it happen in the future. It’s easier than you might think and hopefully when you’re done here you’ll be armed with the tools to make it happen (although it will likely take some practice so be prepared for more failure before you become the seducer of your dreams).
The reason it’s easier than you think is that there are plenty of women out there that really want to go home with a guy, have a night of great sex, and head out the next morning without even having breakfast (or leave the night before to go home and sleep in her own bed). Your job isn’t so much to seduce her into doing something she wouldn’t normally do (even if she delivers that old line about never having one night stands) but to show her that you’re the kind of guy that can give her a good time and a few orgasms and not turn into a clingy weirdo or do something she’s not comfortable with.
Guys in bars are often tempted to deliver a pickup line. Most of the time it’s a bad idea because you make it so obvious that you’re only in the mood for sex and while the woman may be feeling the same way she doesn’t want everyone to know it. In fact, she doesn’t even want you to know it right away. Instead of a pickup line you should simply introduce yourself and offer to buy her a drink. It’s simple and straightforward and if she’s interested she’ll let you buy that drink. Now that you know she’s interested you can actually do something and get closer to bringing her home.
It’s always helpful to differentiate yourself from the rest of the guys when you are picking up woman at the bar. Think of all the guys as roughly the same. The one that does the most to stand out in her mind is the one that gets to go home with her. There are many ways you could stand out and you really only need to choose one. If you know a good joke you might tell it. If you know a magic trick go ahead and do it. If you know some fun fact then drop it on her. If you do something exceptionally weird (but not creepy) that might be enough. The truth is you’ll have to experiment and find something that works with consistency because every lady is different.
You shouldn’t buy her so many drinks that it feels like you’re trying to get her drunk. Instead, if you feel like things are going your way then ask if she wants to take it somewhere more private. If you know a quieter bar, club, or coffee shop nearby that’s always a good place to start. Again, you don’t want to be the one suggesting you go back to your place and bang because it’s just going to creep her out. If she wants to get right to the sex she’ll let you know.
When you’re finally ready to make the move and get on to the sex you should make a point of giving her a reason to come back to your place (or to go back to her place with you) that isn’t about sex. You’ll both know what you’re actually talking about but if it’s never mentioned it just makes it better and it increases your chances are getting laid. Once you’re at someone’s house/apartment you’re guaranteed to have that sex.
Persistence is the number one quality of a successful online sex dater. This is a far different world than online or real world dating and it’s even different than looking for one night stands at bars and clubs. Once you get online and see what you’re dealing with you’ll understand that being persistent and keeping up your confidence are hugely important when trying to find a casual sex partner .
There are a number of sites dedicated to finding casual sex partners and adult dating and still others that cater to both those looking to hook up and those looking to settle down in long term relationships. Some are free and some require a monthly member to contact people and setup dates. They’re almost always worth the money though and the free sites can be a pain since there are so many fake and spam accounts you’ll end up sending messages to nonexistent people and wasting your time.
Here’s the reality of adult dating sites: the ratio of men to women can be scary in terms of the number of guys competing for the affections of a smaller number of women. On some sites it’s ten guys for every one girl. It’s smaller on others but there are always going to be more guys than girls so it can be a challenge. Luckily, it’s not as hard as you might think and if you’re persistent and you keep at it you’ll find a casual sex partner with relative ease.
You’d think that with such a challenging ratio you might never even hear back from a girl but you’d be wrong. The other truth about adult dating sites is that most of the guys are awful. We’ve seen the messages the ladies receive and the vast majority of them are beyond bad. Typically they consist of a line or two of text, capitalization and good grammar are ignored, and the content of the message is rarely something beyond a sloppy come on about how the girl is really hot and the guy wants to have sex with her (the language used is often really crude). In short, everything about the message is a turn off so most of the ladies on an adult dating site aren’t going to be interested in that guy. Instead that message and all the ones like it are going to be deleted.
That’s where you come in. Your message will be well-written, feature capital letters where they belong and have everything spelled correctly. You’ll write it like a mature adult, not a horny teenage boy just looking to dip his wick in something warm for a few minutes until he has an orgasm. The ratio on an adult dating site might be ten guys for every one woman but when nine of those guys are mouth breathing idiots you start to look a lot better.
You’ll still have to be persistent of course, but you can rest easy in the knowledge that you’re not competing against as many guys as you thought you were. Also, if you’re really serious about finding a casual sex partner then you should do anything and everything you can to get in great shape. I know some guys don’t want to hear that but good sex buddies are often determined by the bodies, not the faces. Even if you’re not super good looking you’ll attract lots of ladies with a hard and muscular body and the truth is that anyone can have one as long as he’s willing to work for it. If you’re serious about casual sex partners then you need to hit the gym and get in shape or stay in shape because it’s all about the body.