Not surprisingly, drinking and alcohol can have wildly divergent effects on sex, just as it can a night at the club or adventuring through the city. It’s all about how much alcohol you consume. Chances are good if you drink then you’ve seen both sides of the spectrum and know how a bit of booze can make it much easier to get laid or can send you into a spiral of shame since you drank too much and can’t get it up or end up puking in the middle of thrusting.
The Bad About Drunk Sex
Too much alcohol can inhibit a man’s ability to get an erection, a truly unfortunate occurrence if you’re making out with a gorgeous girl you met through a sex dating site or at the bar. Drunk Sex even worse if you’re both naked and she wants nothing more than to feel you inside her and you can’t even get hard enough to get the condom on. At that point the only thing you can do is go down on her and hope that enough of the booze will wear off that your willy will work again. Otherwise it’s a night of bad sleep for you without the satisfaction of orgasm and a good chance she tells her friends that you couldn’t get it up, which means humiliation for you.
If you drink way past your limit all sorts of bad stuff can happen, which is why it’s impossibly stupid to do so. A minor blunder would be vomiting during sex, either on her or all over your bed, making a big mess. You might also black out and forget the evening entirely. You might forget to put on a condom or decide that you can’t hear that she’s telling you no and get into real trouble. Plus, if she’s drinking too much and you’re sober or much closer to sober you can get into murky legal waters if she’s not so happy with the sex the next morning. Limit yourself to a few drinks.
The Good About Having Sex Drunk
Alcohol is widely accepted and used as a social lubricant because a drink or two successfully lowers inhibitions in everyone. If you’re terribly afraid of rejection or a little bit shy normally, a few drinks might make all of that fade away and leave you in the mood to hit on a girl you’d typically never dream of approaching. That sort of confidence can only lead to good things. They call it liquid courage for a reason, and that reason is that the part of your brain that tells you to be scared of approaching a pretty girl, flirting, or even asking her to go back to your place is quiet since it too has had a few drinks.
The same is true for the members of the opposite sex. The lowering of inhibitions can have an entirely different effect. Men are horny and think about sex all the time. Women are often taught by society at large that having sexual thoughts and wanting to be a bit wanton is a dirty, terrible thing (this is particularly true in much of America). A haze of alcohol over their minds means those thoughts drift away and are replaced by the lust that all humans have inside them. This is a very good thing and it means that if you play your cards right you get to have amazing sex with a girl that would normally be a little scared of the repercussions of a night of unbridled passion with a man she’s just met. The more you practice the better you’ll get at spotting the girls that quickly throw back a drink or two because they want great casual sex and know they need a bit of alcohol to make it happen. Those are definitely the girls you want to go home with.
Isn’t sex dating the same thing as regular dating? While dating hopefully includes sexual intercourse, sex dating is a whole different thing that’s focused around the pursuit or pleasure above all else and in doing so without the emotional attachments that lead to long term relationships. You’re doing it only for the sex and one of the key components of this type of relationship is that both parties go into it well aware of that fact. That simple twist on the typical formula means that problems are far less likely to crop up (nothing is perfect though and you may find that a fuck buddies relationship becomes something else or that one party wants it to become something else).
Before you try and enter into the world of sex dating you need to decide if you can handle a casual sex relationship. For some people it’s simply not possible, and that includes guys. Certainly the appeal of the relationship makes sense and they want to be able to have casual sex and orgasm and then move on, but sometimes it just doesn’t work because the emotional commitment can’t be avoided. If you’re that guy then don’t bother with a fuck buddy relationship because it will be nothing but pain when it doesn’t work out in the end.
Once you know you’re in the mood to become fuck buddies with a girl you can pursue with vigor the relationship you want. Your sex dating experience can begin in a bar, club, or other night spot but that has always been and continues to be difficult. If you get lucky it will most likely be a one night stand and she won’t want to be fuck buddies. You’re also likely to find a girl interested in a relationship. What you’re not likely to find is a girl interested in sex dating. That’s where the internet comes in.
Sex dating didn’t really gain steam as a popular means of sexual interaction until the internet came along. Before that you were stuck going to clubs and trying your best to find a fuck buddy but it was a difficult task that few men had the dedication to pull off. Now all you need is a profile on one of the many sex dating sites (you can find reviews here on It’s Just Sex) available and you’re well on your way to success.
One of the incorrect assumptions of those sites and sex dating in general is that it’s really easy. It’s not terribly difficult, of course, but you can’t be a fat slug of a man that never showers and hasn’t combed his hair in years and expect to have a steady stream of women ready to pleasure you. You need to be at least a little fuckable if you hope to have a successful sex dating experience, so get your shit together if you’re going to take the plunge.
Even women that want to be sex buddies want to be swept off their feet. They’re not whores, in other words. They’re not going to show up, rip their clothes off, and get naughty with you (unless you look like an Adonis, in which case that will actually happen all the time). Sex dating is similar to real dating in that way. You need to make an effort to charm her and convince her that you’re the right man to sleep with and more importantly, to begin a relationship as fuck buddies with. If you put in a little effort it all comes pretty easily though, so don’t worry too much about it. Have fun out there!
There are many routes to finding a sexy buddy for those times when you want to have a no strings attached romp in the bedroom without the complications that so often come with having sex. It typically requires a certain level of confidence to achieve sex buddy status with a woman. If you project weakness or desperation a girl that might be considering you as a sex buddy will write you off because she doesn’t want a guy that’s going to try and date her or spend the whole night cuddling and talking about his feelings. Not everyone is cut out to be in this kind of relationship and you need to decide if you’re that type of guy before you take the plunge.
There are rare occasions when this type of relationship happens as a result of real life flirtations. Imagine you’re hanging out with friends and you’ve had a few drinks so your normal inhibitions have disappeared and been replaced by the unfiltered version of you. You feel attracted to one of the ladies in the group and when you get her alone you flirt, heavily. You make it clear you’re thinking about sex with her and she responds. In your semi-drunken haze you go home with each other, hook up, and have the time of your lives. Next time you do it sober. You’re not really into each other in a relationship way but you sure had fun having sex. Now you’re sex buddies and as long as neither of you gets emotionally involved you’ll be fine.
That sounds wonderful, of course, but it almost never happens in real life. Instead, what typically unfolds is that you flirt in that way and put your interest out there and you get a drink thrown in your face, the girl tells the rest of your friends what a pervert you are, and you find yourself on the outs in your circle because you were such a pig. That’s why the ideal place to find sex and form a casual, mutually beneficial relationship is online.
When you turn to sex dating and use the internet as your means of finding partners you’re among like-minded people, which is the single best reason to go this route. When you log on to a sex dating site and browse the listings you know the ladies are there for the same thing you are (there are always outliers but if a woman goes on a sex dating website and talks about wanting a real relationship you can count on her being a little weird).
Casting your line amongst people that want the same thing as you is the smartest way to get it, which is why you need to push your efforts online to find sex. The bliss you’ll experience is potent! What’s incredible is that these sites are littered with beautiful women that want to have casual sex and then do it again the next week or the next night. If you want to form a sex buddy relationship with one particular woman you can do so or you can spread your wings and see just how many ladies you can charm into the bedroom with you. The choices are limitless and the pleasure you’ll feel is incredible. Sex dating is the wave of the future and it’s time you got on board and experienced why tens of millions of members belong to these sites. There are good things happening online. Do your research to find the best site, join up, and begin searching for the sex buddy of your dreams and it will all come to pass.
Millions of words have been written over the years on the art of picking up women, seducing women, running game, etc. Every book purports to have a magical system that helps you nab the girl of your dreams or just the girl of your fantasies for that night. All those books and blogposts are helpful and might actually get you what you want but what they teach all comes down to one thing: confidence. It sounds so simple but if you really look at what you’re being taught it’s all about the confidence. Some guys need a system so they will appear confident. Some guys need a pep talk so they can feel confident. Some guys need specific lines to run so they don’t have to think and thus lose their confidence. That’s what it all comes down to though.
The art of picking up women is all about utilizing your confidence. When a guy uses the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard and the girl actually responds it means that he delivered it with confidence (sometimes it means that he’s incredibly good looking and he could have spilled gibberish from his mouth and picked her up but those guys are confident too so the lesson holds). Pickup lines are incredibly stupid but they serve a purpose: to break the ice. All you’re doing is finding a good way to introduce yourself to a girl. That’s why you can usually just introduce yourself and offer to buy her a drink. A simple compliment is a good way to follow that up and segueing into conversation of almost any kind is recommended thereafter. Follow that formula for picking up women and you’ll be amazed at how often it works and at the very least gets you a nice talk with a lovely girl. If you don’t have much experience at this sort of thing you’ll need to practice but you’ll get where you need to be eventually so have faith.
Let’s get a little more specific now. It’s always been a good idea to make the first move but that’s true now more than ever. If you’re interested in a girl then go ahead and talk to her. Introduce yourself, buy her a drink, and start a conversation that gets you on the road to knowing her. If you want her number than ask for it. Don’t be afraid that you’re going to be rejected or that she’s going to feel like you’re somehow being sexist. You’re not; you’re being a man interested in a woman and that’s all there is to it.
You need to avoid being immature at all costs. There is truly no bigger turn off than an immature man. Some guys have an immature sense of humor; if you’re one of those guys you’ll need to table that. Making a girl laugh is great but if your only material is dick and fart jokes you need to put them away and come up with something else. I’m telling you, immaturity is like female repellent and will get you walked away from faster than you can believe. This is #1 to remember when picking up on girls.
Before you introduce yourself to a girl and try to start a conversation you’d be wise to know something about her. Watching her for a few minutes (not in a weird and leering way, of course) would be smart so you can pick up on her behavior and have something to mention when you approach would be smart. Picking up girls is an art take your time and do not rush. This sort of thing will take a little practice but it’s well worth it. Breaking the ice is the hardest part of this whole thing, along with getting comfortable with rejection, which will happen plenty when you put yourself out there.
Whether your goal on a date is to sleep with the girl that night (1 night stand) or start a long term relationship there are conversation topics you should always make an effort to steer clear of. If you make a mistake and get into a conversation about anything listed below you might be able to recover but more likely than not you’ll have created a speed bump that might derail your budding relationship. The list is in no particular order so stay clear of all of them whether you are on a date or sex date.
Politics – I said these topics were in no particular order but if you happen to disagree on politics you can put it at the top of the list of things not to talk about. In fact, even if you have the same political philosophies you should probably avoid it since almost everyone has a seriously hot button issue that can send them into a rage if they meet someone in opposition. Politics are irrational and in most cases people believe that their stance is unequivocally the right one, which means you can’t win.
Religion – Here’s another one to avoid at all costs. If she’s a devoutly religious person she might bring it up because she won’t be able to date a guy that’s not but otherwise you should steer clear of it. Much like politics, most people are completely inflexible when it comes to religion, which means you don’t so much have a conversation about it as you talk at each other about it, agree to disagree, and then stew in your animosity towards each other. That’s an inefficient way to build a long lasting relationship (or lay the groundwork for a sexual encounter).
Complaints – I know it’s a little broad but on a first date no one wants to hear you complain about your life, your job, your family, etc. Even if someone is a pessimist and destined to end up with one they don’t want to think about that on the first date. They want to think they’re optimistic and sunny and it’s pretty hard to think about a good future if you’re sitting across from someone that can do nothing but complain about life. Keep those to yourself, even if you had a bad day.
Past relationships – This one is not as universal as the three listed above but in general it’s a good idea to steer clear of past relationship talk on a first date. That’s particularly true if you’re looking for a long term relationship with your date. She doesn’t want to be thinking about your past girlfriends and how she compares to them, at least not at first. If you’re looking for casual sex then it’s not necessarily a deal breaker, particularly if the girl takes it as a challenge to be better in bed than past girls you’ve been with. That’s a risky tactic but can pay big dividends if it works.
Money – This isn’t always a deal breaker but most women don’t want to hear about your financial situation on a first date. It’s disappointing if you don’t have much money and you sound like a braggart if you have plenty of it. If you’re right in the middle then nobody cares. Let her figure out your financial situation from the way you dress, the car you drive, the restaurant you picked, etc.
Sex – If you’re angling for casual sex on this date then you’d think you could bring up the topic but it’s actually not a great idea. In that case you probably both know what you want but if you bring it up then you make it obvious and the girl can end up feeling like a slut, which almost no ladies want. If you’re looking for a long term relationship then you should never bring up sex on the first date, even if it you did meet her on a sex dating site. Let her be the one to bring it up, or simply let your actions speak for themselves.
I’m certain you’ve seen a beautiful woman walking down the street and lusted after her like never before. If you live in the right city this probably happens every day (like in the West Village of NYC, for instance). It’s high time you put a stop to all that wishing and hoping and do something about it. It’s time you learn to approach a woman in the street and make something happen.
Before you dedicate yourself to this most lofty of goals you need to accept that you will fail and often with great frequency. You’ll be stopping married women, women with boyfriends, etc. Most of these women will not end up giving you their number or walking away having said yes to a date but you’re also not going to ask most of these women out. You’re going to exercise your social muscles, you’re going to talk to beautiful women, and you’re going to make dates with some of them. In a few cases you might get exceptionally lucky and end up meeting and hooking up with a girl you meet on the street on that very day.
The approach is the easiest part. You’re not going to deliver a cheesy line of any type and you’re not going to stage some stupid accident. You’re simply going to approach the woman and say “excuse me”. You’re going to deliver those two words in a strong voice and do it confidently, although you’ll need to ensure you don’t come across as angry or bossy. Oddly enough, two simple words can be interpreted in a vast number of ways. She could think of you as a whiny wimp, a bossy jerk, or a confident man with something to say. You want it to be the third.
Every person you say “excuse me” to is going to give you their attention. Unless they think you’re talking to someone else or they’re lost in an iPod they’ll look at you and listen to what you have to say at the very least. They might assume that you’re a crazy person about to ask for money or say something offensive but they’ll give you a second of your time. It’s once you’ve got their attention that you have to deliver so you always need to be ready with that second line.
There’s no hard and fast rule as to what you should say once you have her attention. That’s what practice is for. If you want to be really forward you could try complimenting something about her, although if she’s beautiful and you tell her so she’s not going to be impressed because she’s heard it thousands of times. I like to start with something simple like asking her for the time or asking for directions somewhere. People enjoy helping others and when she gives you that little bit of assistance it will create a sense of warmth in her towards you. Seriously, it works. Once you’ve done that she’ll be even more receptive to a follow up and at that point you can make a move of some sort, although you should keep it subtle and simple.
There’s honestly no harm in simply asking her out. If she’s available and she’s even remotely attracted to you chances are good she’ll say yes if for no other reason than she’s so surprised you actually asked her. That’s a great way to make a connection and make a date. You don’t need to rely on blind dates or the internet when you have the confidence to ask someone out you saw on the street. It’s that confidence that will get you the date, too. Plus, if you make it to a relationship you’ll have a cute story about how you lied about needing directions or the time just so you could talk to her when you .
It’s like a badge of honor when you get a girl’s number . You can parade it around to your friends and play the part of the charming stud that managed to convince a beauty to hand over her digits in the hope that you’ll call her tomorrow and setup a date. Of course, anyone with a history of looking for ladies to love knows that quite often you’re given a fake number or a blatantly wrong number because the girl wasn’t interested and didn’t want to come right out and say no. She just wanted to blow you off without any hassle.
It’s a small victory to get a girl’s number but it’s a huge victory when the girl gives you her number without you having to ask for it . That’s rare and blissful and should be cherished by anyone that pulls it off. Would you like to know how to do it? Not every guy can make it happen but there is something of an art to getting a girl’s number without asking for it. Read on to get some insight into that art.
This isn’t a hard and fast rule but in general it helps to look more like a bad boy. More than any other type of guy the bad boy is the one that makes girls do stupid things they wouldn’t normally do. There’s something that goes on at the subconscious level that makes the bad boy irresistible and thus much more likely to get a number handed to him. Guys that are actually that way almost never end up with a successful long term relationship but that’s not what we’re talking about here so it doesn’t really matter. If you can’t pull off that look then don’t try because you’ll just look like an idiot.
You’ll need to work to make yourself look and seem attractive without it seeming like you’re openly flirting with the girl. That sounds more difficult than it is. Sometimes it’s as simple as dropping a few words from a sentence. One tactic a lot of guys use is picturing a future couple (we would have a great time together in Europe). It’s exceptionally effective but it ensures that you’ll need to ask for her number because you’re making it clear you’re already thinking about being with her. If you shift that a little bit to talk about an exciting future or your exciting life while leaving her out you put the onus on her to pursue you, thus having to give you her number. The trick is to talk about your exciting life and leave her out of it while still making it seem like you want to be with her. That’s something that takes practice so you’ll have to work on it to get it just right.
If you can drop a few hints that make the girl worry less about rejection it would be a smart move. Saying something simple about how you’re only available for a few weeks will give you a good chance at a once night stand or brief sexual relationship type of thing. You should also give her a chance to slip you her number while no one else can see so she doesn’t have to worry about any embarrassment. Most of the time women are asked for their numbers so she would be going outside the norm if she gives it up without being asked. Be kind and let her do that in private and you have a better chance of receiving it and down the road hopefully hooking up.
If you’ve ever been to a bar in your life then you’ve probably met a woman there you wanted to sleep with that very night. If you’re reading this article then chances are good you didn’t get to sleep with that woman and you want to know how to make it happen in the future. It’s easier than you might think and hopefully when you’re done here you’ll be armed with the tools to make it happen (although it will likely take some practice so be prepared for more failure before you become the seducer of your dreams).
The reason it’s easier than you think is that there are plenty of women out there that really want to go home with a guy, have a night of great sex, and head out the next morning without even having breakfast (or leave the night before to go home and sleep in her own bed). Your job isn’t so much to seduce her into doing something she wouldn’t normally do (even if she delivers that old line about never having one night stands) but to show her that you’re the kind of guy that can give her a good time and a few orgasms and not turn into a clingy weirdo or do something she’s not comfortable with.
Guys in bars are often tempted to deliver a pickup line. Most of the time it’s a bad idea because you make it so obvious that you’re only in the mood for sex and while the woman may be feeling the same way she doesn’t want everyone to know it. In fact, she doesn’t even want you to know it right away. Instead of a pickup line you should simply introduce yourself and offer to buy her a drink. It’s simple and straightforward and if she’s interested she’ll let you buy that drink. Now that you know she’s interested you can actually do something and get closer to bringing her home.
It’s always helpful to differentiate yourself from the rest of the guys when you are picking up woman at the bar. Think of all the guys as roughly the same. The one that does the most to stand out in her mind is the one that gets to go home with her. There are many ways you could stand out and you really only need to choose one. If you know a good joke you might tell it. If you know a magic trick go ahead and do it. If you know some fun fact then drop it on her. If you do something exceptionally weird (but not creepy) that might be enough. The truth is you’ll have to experiment and find something that works with consistency because every lady is different.
You shouldn’t buy her so many drinks that it feels like you’re trying to get her drunk. Instead, if you feel like things are going your way then ask if she wants to take it somewhere more private. If you know a quieter bar, club, or coffee shop nearby that’s always a good place to start. Again, you don’t want to be the one suggesting you go back to your place and bang because it’s just going to creep her out. If she wants to get right to the sex she’ll let you know.
When you’re finally ready to make the move and get on to the sex you should make a point of giving her a reason to come back to your place (or to go back to her place with you) that isn’t about sex. You’ll both know what you’re actually talking about but if it’s never mentioned it just makes it better and it increases your chances are getting laid. Once you’re at someone’s house/apartment you’re guaranteed to have that sex.