Did you know that women almost always make more noise than men during sex? Doesn’t that sound like a crazy sort of assumption that some stupid guy would make based on one or two experiences with vociferous women? Well, as it turns out, this is totally true and it’s true across all cultures and among some primates in the animal kingdom. Now you know that when you hook up with a girl and she’s making all sorts of noises during sex that she is just like every other woman on the planet. You have to wonder why that happens though. Hopefully I can explain it.
The answer isn’t readily available, as it turns out. Research has been conducted on the subject, but not nearly enough to come up with a solid answer where human females are concerned. If you look at primates, the closest animal relatives to human beings, you can find answers that might give a clue to what’s going on with human females. As it turns out, it’s a form of communication, not surprisingly.
One of the most basic drives in any animal (humans included) is to reproduce. Propagating the species is the reason we’re all here on the planet. Loud noises by females during sex are thought to be part of that, although it makes more sense in the animal world. Essentially, if the female makes more noise she will attract more sexual partners to deposit more semen in here, thereby increasing her chances of getting pregnant, which would fulfill her purpose in the world. If you apply that to human females it doesn’t really make sense, even if you were to go way back in time. However, it could be one of those traits that’s left over from long ago and has yet to be washed away by evolution.
There is some evidence to suggest that the noise a female makes is related to the status of the man she’s having sex with. If he’s of higher status (measured in a variety of ways in different cultures) her noises are likely to be louder. In the world of primates that makes sense as a way to establish hierarchy in the pack/tribe/group. In certain groups of humans that same reason makes sense (think of a tribe in the Amazon where they live in close quarters with little privacy so everyone knows what everyone else is doing).
In more advanced countries it makes sense that a woman would make more noise when having sex with a man of higher status (again, as determined by a variety of cultural factors) to encourage him to want to have sex with her again. Much of this operates on a subconscious level that we don’t really have control of, but in some ways it’s nice to know and as sex advice it can be interesting to have in your head as you’re having sex. For instance, if a woman seems louder than moral when you hook up perhaps it’s because she thinks of you as a high status male. Wouldn’t that feel good?
Ultimately it won’t make much difference in your quest to find sex, although if you’re using the internet to find strictly casual sex you could infer from this information that women want to be with men of high status and you can mess with your profile a little to make it seem like you’re higher status than you might actually be. If it’s just a hook up she doesn’t have to find out that you like a little to make yourself more attractive and make it easier to find sex. Go ahead and give it a try and see how it works out.
If you’ve been in a relationship for any extended period of time you know that the sex tends to slow down. It’s a product of familiarity that makes the early lust and boundless desire fade into comfort. Comfort is good in a lot of ways, particularly if you’re building a life together that you value and are perhaps going to start a family. However, if you neglect your sex life you’ll soon find that everything else begins to suffer. Sex is a biological imperative in human beings and if you ignore it you might see your relationship/marriage fall apart or fall victim to cheating. Thankfully there’s sex advice that can help you spice things up.
The overall theme of this sex advice piece will be variety. You’ll find that almost every specific scenario can be traced back to providing variety. If you give the brain something different it will be more engaged. If you schedule a weekly sex session on Saturday nights the brain will get bored and even though the sex will feel good, you’ll both feel unsatisfied. That’s why you need to mix it up.
Changing locations is a simple yet effective way to have better sex. If you’ve settled into a routine of having sex in the bedroom you need to pull it out of there. Join her in the shower one morning and try to have sex there. Make out with her on the couch during a movie and don’t run to the bedroom when it comes time to have sex. Try seducing her as she prepares dinner and get to her before she’s put anything on the stove. If you’re successful, don’t bother going to the bedroom but instead have sex right there on the floor or kitchen counter. With a location change you’ll find sex becomes more interesting. If you’re feeling particularly bold you can take it outside the house. Public places are dangerous but can be thrilling and if you’re careful they can be safe. Making love on the beach is nice if it’s not windy and you have towels to cover up just in case there are visitors. If you have extra money you could spring for a hotel every once in a while.
The urge to get into your comfy clothes when you get home from work (this applies to both men and women, though moreso to women) is powerful and it’s always nice to be in sweatpants and a loose top. However, that’s anathema to sex. First, seeing the same thing or the same style of outfit every single day is mind numbing and it’s pretty hard to make comfort clothes sexy. Either keep the work clothes on (some work clothes can be super sexy) or change into something that turns him on. It doesn’t have to be lingerie and it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable. If you insist on your comfort clothes at least have enough of them that you can work a different look every day.
The ladies can mix things up and impress their man by taking charge. Go ahead and initiate sex with your man if you want it and feel free to demand whatever position you want. He won’t be turned off by it because it will be a different delight to him.
If you want better sex then the best sex advice I can give is to mix it up. Almost anything that breaks you out of your routine will spice things up. If you never get into a routine in the first place that would be great, but it’s pretty hard to avoid.
There’s nothing wrong with spicing things up in the bedroom to have better sex. The key is to feel and act free of any sense of judgment and remember that you want to have fun and there is nothing in the world more fun than good sex. With that, here are ten tips to improve your sex life.
1 Try a blindfold
Take away sight and you automatically enhance the sexual experience. Whoever wears it is in a constant state of anticipation and each new move is a delightful surprise. Will you play with her breasts, kiss her stomach, lick her vagina, kiss her lips, or something else entirely? What she will do with you? The anticipation will add an element to the sex that spices it up beyond belief and makes it more energetic and passionate.
2 Massage her
A sensual massage for your woman will have her dripping with desire, without question. When done in a sexy, sensual manner the massage turns her entire body into an erogenous zone, although areas such as her breasts and butt are bound to provide extra arousal. If her sex drive seems to be down and she’s having a bit of trouble getting all the way there the erotic massage is a perfect way to go.
3 Feel free to give instruction
It doesn’t have to be kinky or dominant to give your partner instructions on how to please you. In fact, it can be hugely arousing and erotic, particularly if you’re doing it in the throes of pleasure as you moan lustily. Give it a shot and see how it takes things to the next level. This will lead to better sex!
4 Dirty talking is amazing
Dirty talk will engage your brain and hers in amazing ways. It will make any stress or distracting thoughts melt away and focus you fully on the sex. Even better, if you try it only every once in a while it will be a truly arousing experience.
5 Lingerie and role playing
If you have a role playing fantasy then share it with her. If you want to see her in lingerie then buy it for her. Guys respond to variety more than women and if she wants to spice it up for you then she’ll happily play a part. Plus, there’s great fun in playing a role for her too.
6 Don’t be afraid to share your fantasies
Just because you’re sharing your fantasies doesn’t mean they need to be acted out, in case you’re worrying she’s going to be freaked out. The point is to share your sexual desires with her to open the lines of communication and to let her know what drives you wild sexually. Best case scenario is she makes the fantasy come true. Worst case is she works some element of it into future sexual play.
7 Try a game
Sexual card games aren’t just for college kids. Try a game of strip poker or war. Whoever wins gets to pick the sexual act they want performed on them. Try it all night long for a truly transcendent experience.
8 Cock rings can be fun
A cock ring serves the function of keeping your penis harder by restricting the flow of blood out of the shaft. It makes it look a little bigger and it feels better for both of you. Plus, you’ll feel oddly confident with that super hard shaft.
9 Have thrilling sex in a new place
Sex in public, sex in the woods, or sex anywhere else new is a thrill that will kick start your sex drive like you’ve only imagined. You can judge your willingness to take a risk but the further you push it the more likely it is to be thrilling and energizing.
10 Try new positions
Variety is the spice of life and there are dozens of easy sexual positions you can try. From the Kama Sutra to an endless stream of websites you’ll find recommendations for new positions. Try them all for a truly good time.
For some guys, getting her to have anal sex is the Holy Grail of relationships. If you’re a man then there’s nearly 100% chance you’ve thought about anal sex with your girlfriend and you’ve probably brought it up. If you’re like most guys then she shot you down without considering it. Those girls that were willing to try probably hated it and have sworn off ever trying it again. This happens because it’s generally painful since that area is not nature made for sex. It needs to be carefully prepared, as does the rest of her body. That’s why you need to work at getting her to have anal. The good thing is it tends to be worth it for both of you.
If you want to find sex through the back door you’ll have to be exceptionally patient. Girls in porn make it look easy and painless but they are definitely not an accurate representation of how most girls experience anal sex (they thoroughly clean the area, they’ve been stretched, and they often use a numbing cream to dull the pain). Getting her to have anal starts with asking and you need to do it right if you want to get her to try anal sex for the first time.
When you bring up the subject you need to be sensitive about it, as strange as that might sound. Anal sex is still relatively taboo and if it seems like you want to have it because you’re a dirty guy that just wants to check another sexual experience off your list she’s likely going to be turned off before she even considers it. The truth is that if anal sex is done right it will be immensely pleasurable for you and her, so that should be a part of your pitch. Don’t go too heavy on that though; if you start off talking about how good it’s going to be for her then she’s going to think laying it on too thick. Tell her that you really want to try it, that you will make it good for her, and that if it’s uncomfortable you’ll stop immediately and forget about it forever.
Once she agrees you need to make sure it’s actually going to be good for her. Relaxation and lubrication are your friends in getting her to have anal. First there’s the relaxation. You’ll need to go heavy on the foreplay, which will get her in the mood and get everything down there to relax, thereby allowing anal passage with greater ease. Focus on her. Kiss her all over, play with her breasts and pussy, and ensure that she’s soaking wet and ready to play. That’s when you bring out the lube. Use lots and lots of it. Squirt some inside the anus and load your shaft with it. Spread it all around the anus too.
Doggy style is probably a bad position to start with since it can feel really impersonal to her. You could try her on top so she can control the penetration or you can go missionary. If she’s willing to do it from behind then go for that. It’s wise to use a condom, both for safety and to keep your shaft clean (it’s also wise to have her clean out or to have anal sex after she’s had a bowel movement). Take your time as you insert your penis into her, going nice and slow so she can stay relaxed. A little pain is normal but if you rub her, soothe her verbally, and tell her how good it feels and how it’s going to feel good for her chances are good she’ll eventually get into it.
Isn’t sex dating the same thing as regular dating? While dating hopefully includes sexual intercourse, sex dating is a whole different thing that’s focused around the pursuit or pleasure above all else and in doing so without the emotional attachments that lead to long term relationships. You’re doing it only for the sex and one of the key components of this type of relationship is that both parties go into it well aware of that fact. That simple twist on the typical formula means that problems are far less likely to crop up (nothing is perfect though and you may find that a fuck buddies relationship becomes something else or that one party wants it to become something else).
Before you try and enter into the world of sex dating you need to decide if you can handle a casual sex relationship. For some people it’s simply not possible, and that includes guys. Certainly the appeal of the relationship makes sense and they want to be able to have casual sex and orgasm and then move on, but sometimes it just doesn’t work because the emotional commitment can’t be avoided. If you’re that guy then don’t bother with a fuck buddy relationship because it will be nothing but pain when it doesn’t work out in the end.
Once you know you’re in the mood to become fuck buddies with a girl you can pursue with vigor the relationship you want. Your sex dating experience can begin in a bar, club, or other night spot but that has always been and continues to be difficult. If you get lucky it will most likely be a one night stand and she won’t want to be fuck buddies. You’re also likely to find a girl interested in a relationship. What you’re not likely to find is a girl interested in sex dating. That’s where the internet comes in.
Sex dating didn’t really gain steam as a popular means of sexual interaction until the internet came along. Before that you were stuck going to clubs and trying your best to find a fuck buddy but it was a difficult task that few men had the dedication to pull off. Now all you need is a profile on one of the many sex dating sites (you can find reviews here on It’s Just Sex) available and you’re well on your way to success.
One of the incorrect assumptions of those sites and sex dating in general is that it’s really easy. It’s not terribly difficult, of course, but you can’t be a fat slug of a man that never showers and hasn’t combed his hair in years and expect to have a steady stream of women ready to pleasure you. You need to be at least a little fuckable if you hope to have a successful sex dating experience, so get your shit together if you’re going to take the plunge.
Even women that want to be sex buddies want to be swept off their feet. They’re not whores, in other words. They’re not going to show up, rip their clothes off, and get naughty with you (unless you look like an Adonis, in which case that will actually happen all the time). Sex dating is similar to real dating in that way. You need to make an effort to charm her and convince her that you’re the right man to sleep with and more importantly, to begin a relationship as fuck buddies with. If you put in a little effort it all comes pretty easily though, so don’t worry too much about it. Have fun out there!
The vast majority of people want to have sex. Men and women the world over are interested in pleasurable coupling and the internet makes that easier than ever, particularly if you know what you’re doing. If you’re uninformed you’ve reached the right blogpost to change that fact and bring your knowledge to the place it needs to be for a successful sexual search online.
Read reviews of adult dating sites to find the one that works best for you. You’ll need to actually read the text, too. The review score is generally useless since they’re all pretty positive. Instead you want to know the details of how the site works, how many members there are, how often the women respond, etc. You would do well to sign up for multiple sites but since you have to pay you might just want to go with a single site and focus all your energy there. Put up a couple of good pictures that show your body without being naked or gross and put together a profile that is well-written and features good grammar, good spelling, and no internet speak (text abbreviations, mostly, are a great way of having your message ignored).
As a guy on an adult dating site looking to get laid on the internet you’ll be making first contact most of the time. The ladies get too many messages to be looking through profiles so it’s your job to get in contact. That means your first message needs to be good to break through the deluge they receive. Keep it short but make sure there’s some content in the message, not just a stupid line about how hot the girl is or how badly you want to have sex with her. She knows she’s hot and that you want to have sex with her or you wouldn’t be messaging her. Your job is to stand out from the massive number of guys that have sent her messages all looking for the same thing.
Your best bet is to peruse her profile carefully and pick out something you share in common or something that interests you. Comment on it and try to be witty and brief. That will show her that you put in enough effort to look through what she posted, that you guys have something in common, and that you’re bright enough to be witty. For a first contact you shouldn’t go any more in depth since you’ll need something to talk about later.
Don’t push for an in person or on the phone meeting too early. That sort of thing will creep a girl out and likely push her away. Give it enough time that you feel like you know her and assume she feels the same way and then ask. If she turns you down at that point you can move on (you should have multiple irons in the fire anyway).
You should always make sure that you’re clear about your desires without being pervy. If you want a relationship then let her know. If you’re looking for a sexual partner let her know that too. If she’s on an adult dating site then she’s likely not looking for a long term relationship so you don’t have to be coy about your desires. It’s best to know early on if your desires are compatible so you don’t waste more time than necessary. I mentioned earlier that you should have multiple irons in the fire. It’s worth mentioning again because it will help you avoid placing too much pressure or having your expectations too high with one particular girl. If you’re chatting with lots of ladies you’ll come across as confident and calm, two qualities that are much more likely to get you laid online.
Persistence is the number one quality of a successful online sex dater. This is a far different world than online or real world dating and it’s even different than looking for one night stands at bars and clubs. Once you get online and see what you’re dealing with you’ll understand that being persistent and keeping up your confidence are hugely important when trying to find a casual sex partner .
There are a number of sites dedicated to finding casual sex partners and adult dating and still others that cater to both those looking to hook up and those looking to settle down in long term relationships. Some are free and some require a monthly member to contact people and setup dates. They’re almost always worth the money though and the free sites can be a pain since there are so many fake and spam accounts you’ll end up sending messages to nonexistent people and wasting your time.
Here’s the reality of adult dating sites: the ratio of men to women can be scary in terms of the number of guys competing for the affections of a smaller number of women. On some sites it’s ten guys for every one girl. It’s smaller on others but there are always going to be more guys than girls so it can be a challenge. Luckily, it’s not as hard as you might think and if you’re persistent and you keep at it you’ll find a casual sex partner with relative ease.
You’d think that with such a challenging ratio you might never even hear back from a girl but you’d be wrong. The other truth about adult dating sites is that most of the guys are awful. We’ve seen the messages the ladies receive and the vast majority of them are beyond bad. Typically they consist of a line or two of text, capitalization and good grammar are ignored, and the content of the message is rarely something beyond a sloppy come on about how the girl is really hot and the guy wants to have sex with her (the language used is often really crude). In short, everything about the message is a turn off so most of the ladies on an adult dating site aren’t going to be interested in that guy. Instead that message and all the ones like it are going to be deleted.
That’s where you come in. Your message will be well-written, feature capital letters where they belong and have everything spelled correctly. You’ll write it like a mature adult, not a horny teenage boy just looking to dip his wick in something warm for a few minutes until he has an orgasm. The ratio on an adult dating site might be ten guys for every one woman but when nine of those guys are mouth breathing idiots you start to look a lot better.
You’ll still have to be persistent of course, but you can rest easy in the knowledge that you’re not competing against as many guys as you thought you were. Also, if you’re really serious about finding a casual sex partner then you should do anything and everything you can to get in great shape. I know some guys don’t want to hear that but good sex buddies are often determined by the bodies, not the faces. Even if you’re not super good looking you’ll attract lots of ladies with a hard and muscular body and the truth is that anyone can have one as long as he’s willing to work for it. If you’re serious about casual sex partners then you need to hit the gym and get in shape or stay in shape because it’s all about the body.
